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FiveLessons

FIVE LESSONS ON BIAS IN COMMS

FIVE LESSONS ON BIAS IN COMMS

IT’S NOT ABOUT ME I knew that there would come a time when the news cycle would move on and I decided THAT would be the time for me to do more…

FIVE LESSONS FROM THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE OFF

FIVE LESSONS FROM THE GREAT BRITISH BAKE OFF

*SPOILER ALERT* This week a 20 year old accountancy student became the youngest ever winner of the Great British Bake Off. I thought that this young man, was a gifted baker but unlikely to win…

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT INTENTIONS

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT INTENTIONS

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT ACHIEVING YOUR INTENTIONS Over the past two weeks, since lockdown 2.0 began in the UK, I’ve been doing daily Lockdown Reset Lives in the Actually Facebook Group with the purpose of…

FIVE BIRTHDAY LESSONS

FIVE BIRTHDAY LESSONS

CELEBRATE If you’ve been on Mars this week you may not have noticed that it’s my birthday! As the years whizz past I sometimes wonder about the alleged link between age and wisdom.

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT COLLABORATION

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT COLLABORATION

COLLABORATION About halfway through lockdown I had a startling realisation: I don’t like working alone.
I like to think that I am the very model of an independent, female entrepreneur. Self-sufficient and self-reliant. But there I was, sat at my desk in my little studio office…

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT SOCIAL MEDIA

In last week’s blog, Actually Associate Julie Minns shared what she had learnt from 46 days without social media. This week, following on from the Actually Masterclass on Thursday, we’re looking at how to ensure that your social media content stands out in this time...

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT GIVING UP SOCIAL MEDIA

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT GIVING UP SOCIAL MEDIA

Hi, I’m Julie and I’m a social media addict. And I am not alone. In its 2019 ‘Online Nations’ report, media regulator Ofcom found that ‘around 70% of UK adults have a social media account and about one in every five minutes spent online is…

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT SALES

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT SALES

Since the lockdown began. I have been offering free 30 minute clarity and connection calls to members of the Actually community. One of the key themes that has emerged in these conversations is a reluctance to sell during this crisis…a resistance to having a sales...

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT FINANCE

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT FINANCE

Since the lockdown began. I have been running a series of FREE Masterclasses on a Thursday: Thriving in a Time of Chaos. Last week, the subject was business finances and I invited one of the Actually Partners, Nicola Deverson, to join me to talk about what…

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT CRISIS

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT CRISIS

At 9am on Saturday 14 March, I should have been stepping onto the stage as the MC at a major conference in Central London for 500+ women organised by the women’s leadership organisation, One of Many. At 4.30pm on Thursday 12 March, the Founder…

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT PR

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT PR

With 25 years of experience in communications, campaigning and PR, I guess I should qualify as knowledgeable on the subject! I’ve worked with brands and organisations from Avon to UNCIEF, I’ve worked on space missions and product launches…

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT PLANNING

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT PLANNING

I am constantly surprised by how many entrepreneurs don’t plan. I mean…they have some rough ideas, some general sense of direction but a detailed business plan? A quarter by quarter, month by month overview of activity? A detailed communications and content…

FIVE LESSONS I LEARNT FROM CANCER

FIVE LESSONS I LEARNT FROM CANCER

Sometimes life will throw curveballs at you. You’re happily beavering away at a job you love and you’re made redundant. You marry the man of your dreams only to discover that he has somewhat different ideas about fidelity to you. You’re filled with joy, travelling...

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT WORKING WITH PURPOSE

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT WORKING WITH PURPOSE

Last week, in the Actually Facebook group, I asked people about the obstacles they were ready to let go of this year so that they could step up, make a difference and deliver their purpose. One of the group members replied to ask…

FIVE INTENTIONS FOR 2020

FIVE INTENTIONS FOR 2020

It’s almost a new year. Time for celebrating the year that’s past and setting intentions for the year ahead. I have never been a fan of New Year’s resolutions – at least not those that involved giving things up. Given the statistics on how many people actually stick...

FIVE LESSONS FROM 2019

FIVE LESSONS FROM 2019

I was chatting to some friends earlier this week, talking about the highlights of 2019 and our respective plans for 2020. It has been an extraordinary year. From the creation of Actually to the delivery of my first ever online training course; from my stay…

FIVE LESSONS FROM BEING AN ENTREPRENEUR

FIVE LESSONS FROM BEING AN ENTREPRENEUR

Being an entrepreneur isn’t easy. It can challenge you in ways you can’t even imagine when you start out on the journey full of excitement about your ‘big idea’. And sometimes what started out as a passion can feel like purgatory. And yet…I find it hard…

FIVE LESSONS FROM KERN PRISON

FIVE LESSONS FROM KERN PRISON

Last week I learnt a new acronym: LWoP. Life Without Parole. That’s the sentence that 32 year old Mike* has been serving since he was 15. Mike is incarcerated at Kern maximum security prison in California and I had the privilege of meeting him there whilst…

FIVE LESSONS FROM ONLINE DATING

FIVE LESSONS FROM ONLINE DATING

Yes, I know it’s the modern way to meet people. And yes, I know lots of people have met their soul mate on Guardian Soulmates or their match on match.com. But I LOATHE internet dating. Truly. Loathe. It. Nonetheless, every now and again I give it a go. And after my...

FIVE LESSONS FROM FOREVER AGAINST ANIMAL TESTING

FIVE LESSONS FROM FOREVER AGAINST ANIMAL TESTING

Recently I interviewed Kate Levine, Director of Global Activism and Communications at The Body Shop for an ad hoc series of interviews with changemakers. One of the things I asked her was which of the many campaigns she has been…

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT FEAR

FIVE LESSONS ABOUT FEAR

Recently I shared on my social media channels that I was having a ‘wobble’. That I was feeling THE FEAR. If you’re an entrepreneur, you’ll know the kind of fear I was talking about: the kind of fear that makes you doubt yourself; that shakes your self-confidence and...

FIVE LESSONS FROM BURNING OUT

FIVE LESSONS FROM BURNING OUT

In the UK, according to the Health and Safety Executive (HSE), 526,000 workers suffered from work-related stress, depression or anxiety in 2016/17 and 12.5m working days were lost as a result over that period. Research in the US suggests that burnout costs…

FIVE LESSONS FROM PR / MARKETING STUNTS

FIVE LESSONS FROM PR / MARKETING STUNTS

I’ve spent 25 years in PR and communications and over that time I’ve seen some amazing PR and marketing stunts by commercial brands and campaign groups that have really captured imaginations and headlines. And I’ve witnessed some absolute shockers that…

FIVE LESSONS FROM REPEAL THE 8TH

FIVE LESSONS FROM REPEAL THE 8TH

There’s a lot of chat about referendums in the UK at the moment: the one we already had; whether we should have another one; what the question should be if we do…yes, I’m talking about Brexit. I don’t know about you but I have found the conduct of both sides…

FIVE LESSONS FROM NECKER ISLAND

FIVE LESSONS FROM NECKER ISLAND

Picture the scene: it’s a balmy 26 degrees, the sky is blue, the sun is shining and sending shimmers of light fracturing across the surface of the ocean. At the front of a beautiful room furnished simply but luxuriously with wood, bamboo and linen, a man is speaking...

FIVE LESSONS FROM ROGER HAMILTON

FIVE LESSONS FROM ROGER HAMILTON

Last week I was fortunate enough to attend a Roger Hamilton event in London: Entrepreneur 5.0. Roger is the creator of Wealth Dynamics, Founder of the Entrepreneurs Institute, GeniusU, Entrepreneur Resorts and a multitude of other businesses all designed to support...

FIVE LESSONS FROM FREE PERIODS

FIVE LESSONS FROM FREE PERIODS

“If you see something that makes you angry or resonates with you, don’t wait for someone else to do something about it. “ (Amika George) As a seventeen year old in the midst of her A’ levels, Amika started a campaign #freeperiods to persuade Government to do…

FIVE LESSONS FROM EXTINCTION REBELLION

FIVE LESSONS FROM EXTINCTION REBELLION

"So come and join us. Rebel for life. For the planet. For our children’s children’s futures. There is so much work to be done.”  Extinction Rebellion If you’ve not heard of Extinction Rebellion (XR) then I can only assume you’ve been in a coma for the past few weeks!...

FIVE LESSONS FROM NO MORE PAGE 3

FIVE LESSONS FROM NO MORE PAGE 3

“If I can start a movement, anyone can.’ Lucy-Anne Holmes In 2012 a young woman asked herself why a ‘family’ newspaper would publish images of topless women and what that said about the place of women within our society. That woman was Lucy-Anne Holmes and by 2015,...

FIVE LESSONS FROM GRETA THUNBERG

FIVE LESSONS FROM GRETA THUNBERG

“I don’t care if I get into trouble at school. I believe that one person can make a difference.” (Greta Thunberg) From one lone schoolgirl sat outside the Swedish Parliament to a global movement involving more than 1600 events in more than 105 countries, there can be...

YOU HAVE MARKETING SUPERPOWERS®

You’re not bad at promoting your business, you’re just trying to do it in a way that doesn’t work for you.

Find out what your MARKETING SUPERPOWERS ® are and start communicating with your audience in a way that resonates with them & feels comfortable, authentic and natural for YOU.

Phew! Doesn’t that sounds awesome?  

week I wrote a newsletter that caused more people to unsubscribe from my list than almost anything I have ever written before. I'm not concerned - clearly they are not my people - but I thought I'd share it here so you can tell me: would this cause YOU to unsubscribe?

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"Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, except backwards and in high heels."

I remember the first time I heard that quote.

I was in my teens. I laughed.

Then as I began to think seriously about my career, my Mum explained to me that to be a successful career woman meant working twice as hard as a man to be considered half as good (and paid half as much).

I was in my early twenties. I thought she was exaggerating.

After I burnt out for the second time, I went to a conference and listened to a passionate and eloquent woman - who has subsequently become a great friend - explain something that should have been utterly obvious to me: that our entire cultural paradigm is based on structures set up by men and for men.

I was in my forties. And I cried.

Because it is exhausting having to don your Superwoman cape every day to ‘compete’ in the workplace.

As a single woman, I didn’t have to juggle work with family.

As a white, middle-class, cis-gendered, heterosexual and mainly able-bodied woman, I wasn’t dealing with the raft of intersectional prejudices beyond your average, everyday sexism.

But I was still exhausted.

And it wasn’t just because the systems that we work within weren’t designed for women but for men who had stay-at-home wives doing all of the work in the home.

It’s because for me - as for so many women - every day was and is a balancing act.

Every day is a tightrope walk between safety and danger; between being listened to and dismissed; between familiarity and harassment; between authenticity and playing the game.

Every day is a fight to be seen, to be heard, to be respected, to be autonomous, to be considered, to be valued, to be safe.

Every day.

In the workplace, in our social spaces, in our homes, in our politics, in our media.

Everywhere.

This week my friend and client Harriet Waley-Cohen shared a post about this on LinkedIn. I’m going to share a section of her post here because she has put this so much more eloquently than I could:

"Sometimes it amazes me that there isn't a massive uprising.

Women are fed up of being objectified and judged on our looks, and only respected by how fu*&able we are deemed to be.

We are exhausted by feeling unsafe everywhere we go and watching our backs.

We are exasperated with not being paid the same, of our careers, choices and finances being marginalised because of caring expectations.

We are in despair about our allegations against powerful men being ignored because these men are too valuable to be held to account.

We are done with being told our tone of voice is the bloody problem, that we are too emotional.

We have had enough of not being able to trust the police or the legal system, and of people saying 'innocent until proven guilty' when the stats for prosecutions are laughably low and we all know most rapists never face any real consequences.

We are fed up of being told that it's not all men, because we never said it was, and it hurts to see so few men actively working towards making things better."

There has been an outpouring of grief, support and righteous anger in the comments on Harriet’s post. Of course there has. Because this is nearly every woman’s lived experience. And it is not OK.

I have written about these issues before in this newsletter. In the wake of the Sarah Everard murder and after the US Supreme Court struck down Roe v Wade. And there’s a part of me that didn’t want to write about this again. A part of me was concerned that you - my wonderful community - would grow bored of me ‘ranting on’ about this issue. A part of me that feared being judged or dismissed.

And that’s exhausting too, right?

The constant self-censorship. The constant voice in my head telling me that I can’t say this, shouldn’t write about that, mustn’t be too emotional, too strident, too ‘shouty’.

Well, in the nicest possible sense: f*&k that.

I am in my fifties now and as tired as some people may be of hearing me talk about these things, trust me I am WAY more tired of still having to talk about them. But until there is equity, it is up to every one of us to keep ‘banging on’.

And we need to do more than rant, we need to ACT.

Because here’s the thing, whatever your gender, you can either be an ally or you can be complicit in the problem. Please choose to be an ally. Here are three things you can do:

  1. Support people like Harriet when they share publicly about these issues. This kind of content often attracts trolls and the ‘not all men’ brigade - and it can be overwhelming to have to do all the rebuttal yourself. Another friend and client - the fabulous Stephanie Aitken, also did a post this week on a related topic and spent many hours having to deal with trolls in the comments. Help them.

 

  1. Call out misogyny, sexism, harassment, prejudice and bigotry when you see it - and when you feel safe to do so. I’m not advocating that you intervene when doing so would put you in real physical danger. But if a colleague makes an off-colour remark; if a family member behaves in a way that is inappropriate; if a friend displays ignorance, aggression or bias: name it. Don’t just smile and secretly roll your eyes. Don’t dismiss it. Don’t be afraid to be ‘awkward’. Have the conversation.

 

  1. Engage the next generation. Several of the commenters on Harriet’s post talked about children watching violent porn. They shared stories of how boys’ attitudes to girls are in some cases worse now than they were when I was a teen. The murder of Elianne Andam this week makes it clear just how important it is to speak to our children about these issues. Talk to the young people in your life. Find out about their experiences. Give them a safe space to explore these issues. And educate them about respect and equity. If we are going to break this cycle, this is VITAL work. Don’t shy away from it.  


There is so much more that we could all be doing but this would be an amazing start!

OK. Rant over, for today.

I’m not promising I won’t come back to this again.

My most fervent wish is that there will come a day when it won’t be necessary.

I hope to see that day in my lifetime.

My biggest fear is that I will not.
 

 

 

 

 

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I think that will do for now - I do hope it has been helpful!

Big love

Sara 

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